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04 October 2009

Been Awhile...

It's been awhile since I've updated here. So here goes...

I've bee doing pretty consistent video update videos on youtube... No idea if people are actually watching them and liking what they're seeing but oh well. It's been interesting being able to see how my facial features are changing and hear my voice dropping as well. That was the intent of the videos after all, for me to be able to see changes over time. Granted I can see changes little by little, but until I am actually looking at the past videos, I don't fully realize all the changes that have occurred. I'm going to continue to make videos and will probably be updating here less frequently. Just a refresher for anyone who wants to know, I'm labradork1 on youtube.

In speaking of changes, I'm seeing the changes while on the cream. It took awhile for me to start seeing/feeling changes on the cream. When I had my first (and only) injection, I didn't really feel any different but my body was loving it, especially the increased sex drive. After the T was out of my system, my sex drive dropped to nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a blip on the radar. Took being on the cream for about a week, week and a half before I started getting any semblance of a sex drive again. In terms of physical changes, my face is becoming more angular. Definitely not as round as it was prior to starting T. I'm becoming a hairy beast as well. I'm shaving at least once a week. Getting fuzzy on my cheeks and growing a pretty good little cluster of dark hairs on my upper lip. Arm and leg hairs are getting darker and more noticeable. Also growing hairs on my stomach and back. My voice is continuing to drop and crack some as well. Binding my chest can be a little taxing sometimes. It feels difficult to breathe deeply and just makes life a pain in general. I look forward to never having to wear a binder ever again but as I don't know when I'll be able to afford surgery, I enjoy the days I don't have to go anywhere so I don't have to wear the binder. I think that's it on the changes front...

On to the rest of life...

I just got laid off from my job this past week. Not due to my transitioning in the slightest. Everyone was pretty damn supportive of my decision to transition. The company was going through some rough financial times (stupid economy) and I was the last one hired in my department... I left on a good note and it seemed that everyone was sad to see me go. For now I am applying for unemployment and will be looking for a new job. We may be moving up Portland. More opportunities for me up there in so many ways. There are more job ops for CVTs and the community is better in general. Found a job that sounds really good. Planning to update my resume and coverletter today and email it to the contact person. We'll see how things go.

Last time I talked with my mom, I asked her if she had told my grandparents. She had and apparently things went fine. My grandfather was of the mindset that if I was going to be happier because of my decision, then so be it. We had a family friend that lived with my great-grandmother when she was alive. She was a depressive alcoholic and eventually died due to liver damage. My family believes that she probably had an underlying gender identity disorder and that contributed to her state of being. My family doesn't want to see me go down the same sort of path and just want me to be happy and successful.

This is my life at the moment. Check my youtube channel for more frequent updates.