21 May 2009

Life at the moment...

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated my blog... Oops... Life kinda got in the way.

Since I last updated, I filled out the patient questionnaire and received an estimate for top surgery by Dr. Brownstein. I was quoted $8650 for a double incision chest reconstruction surgery. Ouch. On the plus side, I won't have to fly out anywhere as San Francisco is about 6 1/2 hours from where I live. I am having trouble figuring out how to finance the surgery. Just applied to about 2 weeks ago... Got a letter from them yesterday saying that they were unable to give me a loan because they were unable to verify my address or phone number. Why won't places accept that there are actual addresses that have 1/2 in them (such as 555 1/2)... They do actually exist! I live at one of them! Going to have to give them a call to dispute this... So right now I am unsure whether to schedule surgery and work on getting a loan secured before the surgery or wait. Top sugery is the one thing that I absolutely without a doubt want to do. If someone came up to and told me I could only do one thing in my transitioning, I would choose top surgery with no hesitation. Sure I want to take T and at some point get some sort of bottom surgery but I would be willing to wait. My chest is the one thing that is preventing me from passing as male well! Sorry for the mini-rant... I feel very strongly about my chest...

In other aspects on my life... I was bit on my wrist by a cat at work a little over a week and a half ago. Damn thing swelled up rather spectacularly... Actually went to see the doctor for that one. In less than 24 hours, it was well swollen and I got some purulent fluid out of it... Didn't want to play with that one considering how close it was to my joint. I had to get an antibiotic injection and a tetanus shot as well. I was put on massive doses of antibiotics that knocked me flat on my ass. For the first 4 or 5 days, I was in bed by 9:30pm which is very usual for me. Usually I am up until 10:30-11:00pm. Wrist finally stopped swelling 4 days after the initial injury. The time that it was swollen sucked. Of course the cat had to bite me on my left wrist (my everything hand) and make everything almost impossible. Made it through that trial and the wrist is almost completely healed.

Haven't made an appointment to see the doctor/nurse practitioner couple who may be able to get me my T... Wanted to wait until I was completely healed to go see another doctor... I'll probably give them a call here soon to see if they will even be able to do that... Money is a little tight right now so I don't want to waste my money.

I have another counseling appointment on the 28th of this month... I'm supposed to write sample letters that I would send to my parents and grandparents. I've been thinking lately that it would be easiest to write a letter... I'm very afraid of losing my family and don't want to be right there if they decide they don't want to have anything to do with me. Definitely want to send a letter to my grandparents since my grandma is so difficult... Guess I will have to sit down and write those this weekend.

I think that is all for my life at the moment... Posts may be sporadic until after the 19th of June. I'm studying my ass off for the test I will take on the 19th to become a certified technician. Hope everything goes well.

07 May 2009

Happy Day!

Alright, so I had my first ever counseling appointment today and things went very well. J is easy to talk to and was pretty laid back... didn't have to censor myself when I was talking with her. Today was basically a getting-to-know-you type of day with her asking questions about what the people in my life are like and just some things that popped up while talking about my past. She had some information that she had printed off for me prior to my appointment and wrote down some names and groups that I could check out. J was very glad that I had already started a blog and joined some yahoo groups. She was also impressed with my knowledge on T and could tell that I had been doing my research for a while. We talked for an hour and scheduled another appointment for 3 weeks. So the visit went very well. The best part? She told me I could start T! She gave me the names of a doctor/nurse practitioner couple that she has worked with in the past and told me they would probably be able to help me with obtaining the T. So I guess the next step is to make an appointment over there to talk to them and see if they can write me my first prescription or if I will have to go to an endocrinologist initially.

On another note, after the happiness resulting from the counseling session, I came home to a package. Or rather two packages... My new packers came in today! I'll have to let you know how they work out.

Also went to the gym with a friend (Z) today and will have to get a membership. We workout well together as we keep pushing ourselves in a sort of competition with each other. Ought to help a lot with my motivation issues...

So, a very good day and hope that the upcoming days will be just as good... Guess I'l have to make the pre-T video soon as it appears I will be on T sooner than originally thought...

02 May 2009


Ok, so the therapist I was going to see ended up not panning out. Schedules just didn't mesh. Her last appointment on Saturdays was at 1:00pm and I didn't get off work until then, plus I would have had a 20-30 minute drive on top of that. She also didn't have any prior experience with transsexuals but was willing to work with me. After things weren't going to work out with her, I started looking again at therapists in my area and found one I had somehow overlooked. This therapist (J) has worked with transsexuals before and even helped to start more awareness for mental health professionals in this area. The fee is going to be higher than I was hoping to pay, especially considering my insurance will not cover anything trans-related period. She also follows the HBSOC which was worrying me at first. However I was looking at the SOC Sixth Edition and the standards aren't as harsh/restrictive as previous editions. In the span of about an hour and a half, I was communicating with J via email and now have a counseling appointment scheduled for this Thursday at 1:00pm.

On another note, I ordered my first packers yesterday. I'll update everyone when I get them or when I finish with my counseling appointment on Thursday.