Bad Night

So tonight really sucked. Everything started of well, despite the fact that I'm on my period. Amber and I were over with one of our friends, J, and we were just having a good time all around. Watched a movie, went to Coldstone for ice cream, came back and watched another movie. And then we pulled out Risk. I should probably preface this by saying that I am a very competitive person. I had never played Risk before but I remember trying to play it as a younger kid and trying to read the directions hurt my brain. Things started of well - I captured Europe and was doing ok. Everything started to go sour when Amber was only attacking me. My gameplay started to deteriorate as both Amber and J were attacking me. At one point Amber called me a bitch (in a very joking manner - I believe she was saying something like that's right, get the hell out of my Japan) and I just kind of internally snapped. I had to fight really hard to hold on to my temper and my emotions. I had a mini confrontation with her and just kind of withdrew inside myself. She texted me as we're all sitting there playing the game asking what was wrong and I told her that frustration from losing ground coupled with her attacking only me, calling me a bitch, and being hormonal just set me off. She realized how that could do something and apologized. I continued to get the shit kicked out of me and eventually just gave up and did suicide missions just to end my need to participate. After the incident, I was struggling to maintian my hold on my emotions as I kept feeling like I was going to just burst into tears, something I absolutely refuse to do in front of others just because of hormones. Even now I'm having a hard time containing my emotions. Hormones really suck. I've just been kind of despondent as well. I'm not really sure why exactly things hit me so hard tonight but whatever it was was really harsh.